Before I got involved with contracts, I had a balance of 700,000 on my card, one house and two cars, which added up to about 3 million. Now, all of this has turned to nothing.
All along, I have been a housewife, never worked a day. In the eyes of my relatives, they all envied me for marrying a good man who is ambitious and wealthy, and that is indeed the case. My husband doesn't smoke or drink, he is very obedient to me, and all the money he earns is given to me. At the beginning, this marriage was quite happy, but gradually, I found that being a housewife is really boring. Through the introduction of a close friend, I joined a group about cryptocurrency, starting with Bitcoin, then Ethereum, and later Dogecoin. My experience is very similar to those contributors who gamble online.
In 2020, I registered on a certain exchange, and then gradually came into contact with other exchanges because I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket. Even if one of them collapsed, I wouldn't suffer such severe losses. Initially, I held 5 BTC, and after buying, I just kept watching. In February, it rose about 40%. The dumbest thing I did was not cashing out in time; I kept hoping it would break a million. Unexpectedly, in March, the price of one Bitcoin dropped from $7,000 to about $5,500. I still didn't give up, thinking it would definitely rise again. The next day, it dropped again, falling to over $3,000. At that time, my mentality collapsed, and my psychological defenses were shattered. Plus, my best friend kept urging me to sell, so to stop the losses in time, I immediately sold everything.
Why didn't I walk away after winning? This is both unwillingness and regret. After being quiet for several months, when the BTC price started to warm up in April, it made me particularly uncomfortable. I hated my best friend; it was her who made me sell, and if I had held on, I wouldn't have lost anything. So I became more and more angry and opened the exchange software again, thinking that since the market had risen, it was likely to drop again. Not following the rules, I opened a margin account, initially using 5x leverage to short. Once I got carried away, it went up to 20x. Wins and losses came quickly, and if you weren't careful, you could be liquidated at any time.
In August 2020, BTC, Ethereum, and that kind of Dogecoin were all rising, and many people made profits. But what everyone didn't know was how badly I was losing. Since registering for the exchange in January, I had first won, then lost, and kept losing. Losing made me very unwilling; not winning back felt like having my stomach clawed by a cat. In several rounds of liquidation, I lost 850,000 in savings. Originally it was 700,000, and the other 150,000 was earned by my husband, who sells children's clothing online and earns three to four hundred thousand a year.
Having lost so much money, I felt scared, but I still didn't tell my husband. I thought I could win it back; even winning back half would be fine. So I became obsessed and started borrowing money.
Trading contracts drove me insane. When I saw a rise, it would drop; when I bought, it would drop; when I didn't buy, it would rise; or when I shorted, it would rise. Finally, when I saw a drop, thinking I was going to get rich, it would bounce back immediately. Sometimes I really didn't know how to play anymore and wanted to give up and cancel my account, but I was very unwilling. I joined many groups, and some teachers were deeply in debt, selling their houses and cars. Even though so many painful examples were in front of me, I always focused on the good and believed that if a few people could make money, I could definitely make money too, and then I got stuck, and my debts increased.
I spent money hiring a master. The master told me to buy what to buy. The master asked for 8,888 as soon as they opened their mouth. To recover my losses, I transferred it immediately. At that time, I had lost so much that my mentality was in chaos. Looking back, I really felt stupid. If the master had that ability, why weren't they making money themselves? By the time 2021 came around, my family was happily eating a reunion dinner, while I was heartbroken because I had debts of over 800,000. After the reunion dinner, my husband noticed I was off, and on New Year's Eve, I confessed.
My husband didn't scold me at all. I knew his feelings for me. He gives me whatever I want; even if it costs him his life, he would give it. That's what he once said to me. I also knew very well that apart from my appearance, I didn't match him at all. He is not tall, only 168 cm, about the same as me, and his looks are as ordinary as they can be. I won't hide it; one of the main reasons I married him was because of his financial stability. After marriage, I gradually fell in love with him because, aside from making money, he treated me really well.
Because all my savings were lost, he borrowed 400,000 from friends, charged 100,000 on his credit card, and borrowed 300,000 at low interest. Soon he helped me repay everything. During the New Year, I uninstalled the exchange software and lived a normal life for a while. After the year, my nerves became abnormal again.
My husband only gives me four to five thousand every month; the rest of the money is used to pay debts. I dare not use the money randomly; if I spend it recklessly, it will run out. So I particularly miss the time when I had money. Although I uninstalled the exchange software, I never left the cryptocurrency groups. Seeing some people winning money and crazily sending red envelopes made me restless. I thought of borrowing 100,000 to give it a try; if I lost, I could still pay the minimum installment with what my husband gives me every month. After experiencing two rounds of liquidation, the 100,000 was lost completely in less than half a month. I felt like dying but didn't dare to die; my mentality was totally messed up.
I really want to say what I mean and stick to it: lose 100,000 and never play again. But why is it so easy to say and so difficult to do? It’s like being on D every day, suffering from insomnia and feeling lethargic. To recover the 100,000 loss, I repeated my mistakes, borrowing money piece by piece. After exhausting online loans, I turned to relatives. They were easy to borrow from because they all know my husband is in business. Just a phone call for 30,000 or 50,000, and it would be transferred immediately. By 2022, I was 900,000 in debt, and I still hid from my husband that I sold the car for 150,000. Adding up the debts, I lost one million in over a year.
I was five months pregnant at that time, and my pregnancy was very difficult; it wasn't a normal pregnancy but rather through in vitro fertilization. In the early stages, I took medication and had injections, crying countless times. My husband saw all the heartache, and I also used my pregnancy as an opportunity to confess for the second time because only then could my husband think of every possible way to help me repay the debt.
To raise money, my husband told relatives that he wanted to open a second production line. My in-laws pooled 500,000, and relatives contributed 400,000. The debt was repaid, and my reputation was preserved; no one knew I was a gambler.
