A sarcastic guide to “How to survive a dump.”

1. RSI is your toxic friend

When it crosses 70, it’s like a message from your ex: you know nothing good will happen, but you’re still watching. If RSI is 75+, get ready, the dump is just around the corner.

2. EMA is your staircase to hell

Is the price holding above the EMA? That’s great, but as soon as it breaks through the EMA(7) and EMA(25), it’s like tripping on the stairs: you’re flying down faster than you can say “HODL.”

3. MACD is a lie detector

If DIF falls below DEA, it’s like when a friend says “I’m not selling,” but you’re already pressing the “Sell” button. This is a signal that the momentum is fading and the dump is close.

4. Volume is the noise at a party

If green candles are growing and volume is falling, it’s like a party where the music is loud, but everyone is already leaving. The next track is a dump remix.

5. Practical meme plan

Stop, because liquidation is not a meme, but a reality.

Don’t fall in love with green candles, they are as toxic as the promises of influencers.

If you see a sharp volume on red candles, this is not a “correction”, this is a dump festival, and you are an invited guest.

Final conclusion:

In crypto, dumps are not a catastrophe, but a cultural tradition. Someone cries, someone shorts, and someone makes memes. The main thing is not to become the main character of memes about liquidation.